Be Careful What You Pray For

Today I messed up.

It was nothing too earth-shattering.  I was in the middle of a solo in front of the church, and during the last verse of the song, my voice suddenly cracked.

It's a moment I dread as a singer.  There's nothing more frustrating than having your "instrument" give out on you right in the middle of your performance. :}  But what can you do?  I gave a little smile, patted my throat humorously, and continued singing...and thankfully got through the rest of the song without any further incidents.

It's funny.  In my younger years, a scenario like that would have been completely humiliating.  Today, I just had to chuckle inwardly.  You see, before I went up to sing, I prayed, as I usually do (it's a great way to calm those nerves!).  In my prayer today, though, I asked the Lord to make the performance about Him, and not about me.

I think the Lord has a sense of humor...and perhaps He wanted to see if I meant what I had prayed.  And I must confess, after what happened, I really had to examine my heart.  Had I really meant it?

Think about it...was one little mistake enough to negate the message of the song?  No.  In fact, I had more people than usual thank me for the music this morning.  Apparently the only person affected by it was me.  And that's just pride, plain and simple.

I find that it's easy to get puffed up when I sing well.  I say it's all about the Lord, and I do honestly desire to serve Him with my music.  But deep down, I love getting the complements and affirmation that come from a job well-done.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it shouldn't be my focus.

A morning like this one brings me back to what it's really all about, and that's my Savior.  When people from the congregation came up and thanked me today, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the message of the song was what had blessed them, not my "magnificent" singing. ;)

The other thing that helped was that the words of the hymn I chose were so challenging and uplifting. I couldn't be upset when singing those words.  I'd like to share them with you now:

"Something For Thee"
written by Sylvanus D. Phelps
verses 1, 3, and 4

1. Savior, Thy dying love
Thou gavest me,
Nor should I aught withhold,
Dear Lord, from Thee:

In love my soul would bow
My heart fulfill its vow,
Some off'ring bring Thee now,
Something for Thee.

3. Give me a faithful heart,
Likeness to Thee,
That each departing day
Henceforth may see

Some work of love begun,
Some deed of kindness done,
Some wand'rer sought and won,
Something for Thee.

4. All that I am and have,
Thy gifts so free-
In joy, in grief, thru life,
Dear Lord, for Thee!

And when Thy face I see,
My ransomed soul shall be,
Thru all eternity,
Something for thee.

I also sang the first verse of "My Jesus, I Love Thee".  Not only was it in the same key and tempo, but the message went right along with what "Something for Thee" was saying.

"My Jesus, I Love Thee"
written by William R. Featherston
verse 1

My Jesus, I love Thee,
I know Thou art mine-
For Thee all the follies
of sin I resign,

My gracious Redeemer,
My Savior art Thou:
If ever I loved Thee,
My Jesus, 'tis now.

This is why I sing.  Not for man's praise (although that's pretty nice, too), ;) not to feel good about myself, but to glorify the One who has given me everything.  Because of all He has done, my response should be to offer my time, my talents, and my life to Him.  My desire should be to bring glory to His name.  And if having my voice crack in the middle of a performance is the best way to do that, then who am I to argue? ;)