My hubby and I grew up in the same church, but didn't really get to know each other until I was in junior high and he was in high school, when we started moving in the same circles. Many times, the high school and junior high church youth groups would do things together. I was his friend first, but towards the end of eighth grade I started developing a crush on him.
My wildest dreams came true in the ninth grade, when he asked me to the Spring Banquet in front of our entire youth group...right in the middle of a skit we were performing. :D
Throughout my high school years, we had our ups and downs. The following year (when I was a sophomore), he told me he didn't want to be seen as a couple. His idea was to wait on girls until college. Something obviously changed his mind, though. Perhaps it was the way I handled it (I honestly figured that it was the end of the road and I'd never hang out with him again. Not that I didn't want to. I just saw it as God closing a door.). Perhaps it had something to do with all of my guy friends I made in drama class that year (not to make him jealous, there were just a lot of sweet boys that I genuinely became friends with). And, the fact that he made me late to math class one day towards the end of the year, and it was my third tardy...and I ended up with a detention (my first and ONLY detention!) actually drew us closer. He felt absolutely horrible. While I didn't enjoy the whole experience, I'm thankful that it brought us closer together. From that time on, we were basically a couple, whether officially or unofficially.
After my senior year, I went through a period of doubt and pushed him away somewhat. I was so overwhelmed by all of the changes in my life. I'd been to the same school since Kindergarten, and now I was going somewhere else, learning to drive, and missing my beloved drama and choir classes. It's really silly...I was pushing away the one thing that was remaining constant in my life.
During this time, I read this amazing book called "The Cinderella Syndrome" by Lee Ezell. While not everything in the book applied to me, there were some things that really convicted me. I realized that I was depending on my boyfriend to make me happy instead of leaving that to the Lord. I also realized that I had filled my head with so many romantic heroes from literature and the movies, that there was no way my boy could compete. That book really turned things around for me. I stopped blocking my boy out. Wow, I'm sitting here trying to remember if I apologized or not. I think I did...but don't quote me on that, just in case. :}
We grew closer throughout our college years. I remember that I was really stressed at this point about whether he was "THE ONE" for me. You hear that all the time, even in our Christian circles. I had a strong desire to follow the Lord's will in my life in every aspect. I was so worried that I would get married and find out that my boyfriend wasn't the person I was supposed to marry. I think I unknowingly added a bit of Disney and the movies...you know, the whole "true love", "he's your match", "soul mates" thing?
My mom really helped me during this time. She explained that as long as I had prayed about it and didn't see anything in my boyfriend's character that was dangerous or directly violated God's Word (and of course, taking into account personalities and compatibility), I could marry him. Once we were married, he would become "the one" for me, because divorce was not Christ's intent for the Christian. [Side note here: I realize that there are circumstances where divorce is necessary for a woman or her children's safety...what I mean is the current trend of getting "bored" with each other and divorcing, or deciding that your differences are too great to work out.]
I felt like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders after this conversation. I suppose it may sound naive to some of you, but it was something I really struggled with.
My husband proposed to me on Christmas Day 2001, during my 3rd year of college. He drove several hours to the house on the beach that my family was staying at over the holidays and called me from the beach. It took me a while to realize that he was actually there...I could hardly believe it!
As we sat on the sand, he gave me my gifts. First was a Cracker Jacks box (he had always joked about giving me an engagement ring from a Cracker Jacks box). Next, he gave me a beautiful bell jar with a wooden base and a little circular wooden box under the jar. The box had a beautiful wooden rose on top. When I opened it, I found my engagement ring inside. Oh, and I almost forgot...the present was signed: "To: Beauty From: Your Beast". :D Of course, I said yes! Later that night, we shared our very first kiss.
On June 29th, 2002, we were married in the same church we'd been attending since we were children. Our pastor married us with joy. It was a perfect day. We were surrounded by our family and friends, and everything went without a hitch. The video of our wedding is now one of my daughters' favorite movies. ;)
It's been a great 9 years. We've been through a lot together: moving, babies, job changes, financial changes, diapers, potty training, the first day of school...I could go on and on. Through it all, my husband has been a constant source of love and encouragement. He's always so patient with me, even when I'm not acting in a lovable way. I am so thankful for the man he is, and all that he has done for me. My life would not be the same without him.
Happy Anniversary, Babe! I love you. I can't wait to see what the next 9 years hold for us. :)
The beautiful roses Hubby brought home for me! :)
15 comments:
Happy anniversary! Being sure you are in the middle of God's will can be kind of frightening, especially when you are young and inexperienced. God bless you with many more years together. Another blogger I follow posted that it is her 7th anniversary, today. She also calls her husband her Babe. ;)
(her blog: The Opulent Poppy)
Thanks, AuntLou. :) I'll have to check out The Opulent Poppy. :D
Awwww! Happy Anniversary! And may you have many more!
Thanks, Bama. :)
Wow that is such a cute story like a fairytale!! I hope you have a great Anniversary! I am in eigth grade now and to imagine you knew him that long ago! wow!!
Happy Anniversary! I loooove your new header! :)
Thanks for the comments, gals. :)
Glad you like the header, Elliebob. :) I had fun getting it just right.
American Girl Dolls Rock, it's pretty crazy when I think about how long we've known each other! So watch out, you never know when you're going to meet your future husband. ;) It is a pretty good story, if I do say so myself. One of the reasons it had the outcome it did (if I can share a little helpful advice) is that we both prayed a lot about our relationship. We also tried to take things really slow. We decided to wait to kiss until we were engaged...we didn't even hold hands until several years into our relationship. We hugged every once in a while, but when it felt like we were hugging too much, we discussed it, prayed about it, and held off for a while. If I could pass on any advice, it would be to just take it slow!! So many teen relationships now rush into kissing, hand-holding, and more. Don't waste it...save it for your husband. Take things as slow as you possibly can. Be an individual! Stand out from the crowd. You'll be so thankful you did later in life.
Okay, sorry, I didn't mean to get on my soap box there. Boy, sometimes my comments are as long as my posts! :}
Happy anniversary! You guys have such a sweet story. Oh, and I'll jump up on that soap box with you... save it for your husband ladies, you will never regret it.
Thanks Casey. :) Glad you could join me on my soap box. ;)
Hi Beasts'belle :)
I was reading this post with amazement! I only want God's Will in my life, I want to marry someone who isn't pushy in a relationship like the kind you see today. I pray for my future husband everyday. I'm just worried that I'll never meet him or marry the wrong one! I've been praying for him since I was 12 and now I'm 15. I'm scared though because I don't have any good examples in my life. My parents were on the verge of a separation. It's hard for me to understand how married couples are supposed to love each other and get along. I would really like it if you gave me advice. What if I turn out the same way they did and fight? I try to work it out in my head and realize what went wrong in that certain fight. I feel closer to you than my Mom :) Sorry for the super long comment.
Hi Alisa,
Thank you for commenting. It's such a privelege to meet girls like you who desire God's best for their lives.
My youngest has a fever right now and is wanting Mommy, so I don't have the time to give you a full answer yet, but you can be sure that I will get back to you. I'd like to think and pray over your questions as well...I don't want to rush my answer on such an important topic.
In the meantime, you've got a great start. Praying is always a good idea. You can always talk through your feelings with God, too. Tell Him your specific concerns about your future marriage. He wants to hear from you, and He's always there to listen! :)
I'll comment again soon with some thoughts for you! :)
I'm sorry if it feels like you're getting flooded with girls with boy trouble :) but I have a problem similar Alisa. I have been homeschooled in a good Christian home all my life, and didn't really make many friends till I was ten or so. My mom, though she was a great teacher, wasn't really there for me to give me advice. Now I'm kind of like the weird kid who will never really be normal, but thankfully my friends are awesome and they don't mind explaining things that are everyday to them for me. I have been praying that I meet the right person, and I'm confident God will lead me to him, but I don't know where to start meeting boys. I want a good Christian boy with a strong faith in God, but that seems really rare among people my age. How do I tell? And where can I meet boys like this? THANK YOU so much!! You are the awesomest ever! :) :)
Hi Autumn, thanks for commenting. :) And don't ever feel like you have to apologize for commenting or asking a question...I love hearing from my readers. :)
A lot of what I would suggest to you is in a later post I did for Alisa. If you copy and paste this link, you'll find some of the advice I gave her: http://nevergrowupdollguide.blogspot.com/2012/03/post-about-ones-future-mate-for-alisa.html
As far as your specific questions, I would advise you to take a deep breath and relax. ;) Trust that if God has someone for you out there, He will bring the boy to you in His own perfect time. You don't have panic about "missing" him somehow. I would encourage you not to focus too much on "finding a guy". Instead, get involved in a good church and youth group that preaches the Word and spend time getting to know others. I would focus primarily on just being good friends at this point and cultivating your relationship with the Lord. Then, if the Lord has someone for you, you'll be in the right place spiritually and mentally.
Hope this helps! Please copy and paste the link above. Like I said, I did a really long post with some detailed relationship advice.
If you have any further questions, feel free to comment again or email me at nevergrowup.beastsbelle@gmail.com :)
Thank you beastsbelle!
That post made me realize that I was taking the totally wrong approach to some things, and it tuned some of my viewpoints upside down. I realize that if I let HIM take control, I don't have anything to worry about, you know?
I worked up the nerve to talk to my parents, and they said they didn't want me dating until college, so I guess I will sit back, relax, and make friends without worrying about dating. I feel sooo relieved, lol. ;)
Thanks for the email offer, I just might take you up on that sometime. :)
Thank you for making a difference in the lives of at least two worried gals in need of guidance. I hope Jesus rewards you for it. :) <3
No problem, Autumn. Glad I could help. :) I'll pray that the Lord will bless you for waiting on Him and guide you in this matter in His own perfect time. :)
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